What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
