I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Randomize
