Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
