Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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