i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Barsexuality is the new black.
He kissed a someone with a penis
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How external is "for external use only"?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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