Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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