I just cut my nipple shaving
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
