Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize