I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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