My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize