Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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