Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
