The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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