He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
