So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
