i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
