Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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