I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
