Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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