cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
