I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
