Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
