If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
