Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize