Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Lo siento on account of my penis...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
