U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
