You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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