nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
