he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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