why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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