The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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