Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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