Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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