I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
