I wanna bring you to show and tell
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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