week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
