I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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