Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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