Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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