Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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