How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
