Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
