My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
