My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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