So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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