Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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