She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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