What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
