I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
