the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
