i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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