Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize