physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
