is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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