I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
