Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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