what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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