Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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