Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
